The Art of Efficiency: Housework, Weather Woes, and the Perfect Schlumpf Day

I take great pride in housekeeping. It’s not that I necessarily enjoy it; I just enjoy the efficiency of seeing things done correctly. It amazes me to watch some people- I’m not pointing fingers- who take an entire day to unpack the dishwasher because it’s an unpleasant task, or the whole day to wash a few dishes, or to iron just a handful of clothes. But I think, “If you tell yourself it’s a job that has to be done, and it has to be done properly and efficiently within a set time frame, it’s amazing what you can accomplish.”

Speaking of efficiency, we have a helper who comes in once a week to assist with housekeeping and some of the ironing. Our gardener, who is wonderful, comes in every second week, and we’ve roped him into doing some ironing as well.

Ironing and doing floors- those are two tasks I’ve never enjoyed or been good at. But I find that simple tricks make things easier. When you’re hanging up washing, shake it out first. It amazes me how much easier it is to iron when you get rid of those creases early on. When hanging clothes, hang them straight- don’t just fold them over the line because it’s quicker. Instead, take the effort to hang them from the seams or hemlines and peg them properly. This allows for maximum sun, wind, or air exposure so things dry more swiftly.

And when packing things away, don’t just scrunch everything into the laundry basket. Take a minute or two- it’s not a lifetime commitment- to fold things evenly as you take them off the line. It makes ironing quicker and easier. For instance, with duvets, I fold them corner to corner into a neat square. That way, when our helper comes, she can iron through them in no time and get on with the rest of the house- or her life.

I often watch people making more work for themselves because they don’t clean as they go along. Hanging washing is “too much effort,” watering the garden is “too much effort.” I was watching our neighbors and thinking, “All you had to do was water your lawn for 15 minutes, and you could have a beautiful, lush garden.” Even with Johannesburg’s severe water restrictions, you can still water efficiently- early in the morning, late afternoon, or early evening- and recycle water where possible.

For instance, if I have a cup of water or tea that has been forgotten and won’t be drunk, I make the effort to walk outside and pour it into a pot plant or the herb garden. If you have relatively clean pots- ones that aren’t burnt or caked with food- you can use the soaking water to water the garden instead of wasting it. And if you’re boiling eggs, once the water has cooled, pour it over your herbs or lawn rather than letting it go down the drain. Conserve as much water as you can.

Now, I digress- because I’ve completely forgotten what I was originally going to talk about. This happens more often as you get older. Let me just check my notes. Oh yes! I was talking about the joys of doing laundry and a little forward planning.

By the way, if it’s not today, then very soon- spring has officially sprung! You can check your calendars to confirm, but I’ve noticed the weather getting cooler and wetter. I was telling my husband the other day that I hadn’t even put on a shirt, and the weather was cool but not cold. This is where we often get stumped between summer and autumn- one day, it’s warm enough for T-shirts and shorts; the next, you’re hit with a cold spell, and suddenly, you don’t remember how to wear jeans anymore.

This reminds me of my days working in clothing retail. The secret to a convenient wardrobe is always layering. Especially if you’re moving between clients or locations- not necessarily like a delivery driver or a rep, but if you’re in and out of buildings. I often envy office workers who wear the same uniform year-round thanks to air conditioning. But for the rest of us, layering is the key to dealing with fluctuating temperatures.

This is also the time to start layering at home- bringing out throws and blankets. If the weather is nice, now’s a great time to wash them before you need them. A lot of people don’t clean things before packing them away- I’m not pointing fingers- but it’s good to have fresh blankets ready. Drape them artistically over your couch so that, when it’s chilly, they’re within easy reach.

I also love a good “schlumpf” day- when you stay home and do the bare minimum. The key difference between being lazy and having a good schlumpf day? You’ve got to feel good, look good, and smell good. That means getting out of bed, taking a shower, brushing your teeth- bare minimum- then putting on comfy clothes like tracksuit pants, a sweater, and those amazing sock-slipper hybrids that I adore.

And what do you do on a schlumpf day? Have a movie marathon! I love grabbing a blanket, a bucket of biscuits, ice cream, and probably a bucket of chicken too, then announcing to my husband that the next 13 hours are spoken for. I’ll binge-watch an entire series or five movies in a row. If you’re not into movies, pick up a good book- doesn’t have to be a literary masterpiece, just something you enjoy. And don’t forget snacks- good food makes everything better.

If you want to be productive, turn your bathroom into a spa. I love a long bath- bubble bath, bath oils, essential oils, the whole Cleopatra FOMO experience. Close the door to trap the steam and soak for an hour and a half doing absolutely nothing. Pure bliss.

If you’re feeling social, bring out board games. Monopoly, Cluedo, Scrabble- just not Snakes and Ladders. And if you prefer something more solitary, start writing. Keep a journal, write an essay, or just put your thoughts on paper- there’s something magical about physically writing things down.

Whatever you do, enjoy the changing seasons, declutter, and make space for the things that truly add value to your life.

Dishwasher or Bust: A Guide to Decluttering with Minimal Effort

Recently, I embarked on a noble mission to purge my home of as much plastic as possible- especially in the kitchen, where food prep happens. Out went the plastic chopping boards! After all, I had these stunning marble chopping boards (where they came from, I have no idea, but they’ve moved with us over the years). I figured, “Great! We’ll finally use them now.”

Then I remembered why we never use them.

Yes, they are wonderful- wafer-thin and elegant. Unfortunately, they’re also too big to fit in the dishwasher. Which means I have to wash them. By hand. Which means that unless I’m preparing a full-blown feast, I will find every excuse not to use them because they require cleaning. And who has time for that?

I was chatting about this with a friend, and she laughed:
“Why is it that if something doesn’t fit in the dishwasher, it holds no value for you?”

Fair point.

This got me thinking about my wine glasses. They were a gift- gorgeous, delicate, impossibly long stems, and ridiculously expensive (R500 per glass, if we’re being crass and talking price). But the problem? They don’t fit in the dishwasher either! The top rack is too small, the bottom rack is too unstable, and the idea of manually washing them every time I want wine? No thanks.

So now, I either reach for a whiskey tumbler or, if I’m feeling particularly defiant, a coffee mug. Because honestly, wine tastes just as good when you’re not stressing about washing up afterward.

The Decluttering Epiphany

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized:

• It’s nice to have nice things.
• It’s even nicer if someone else looks after them for you.
• If something doesn’t fit in the dishwasher, it needs to go.

Decluttering is incredibly liberating. Spring is just around the corner (for those of us in the Southern Hemisphere), and you know what they say- change is as good as a holiday. If something is more of a hassle than a joy, it’s time to part ways.

I apply this philosophy to seasonal items, too. We’ve got loads of picnic blankets and outdoor summer gear, which I pack away when not in use. And let me tell you, unpacking them when summer rolls around feels like Christmas- because, in South Africa, it actually is Christmas. It’s the same now in March as I bring out all my cozy winter stuff. Christmassing in March, if you will.

The Art of a Good Schlumpf Day

Let’s be honest- staying home is the best. There’s something sacred about a proper schlumpf day: the kind where you do the absolute bare minimum. The rules?

• Get up.
• Shower.
• Brush your teeth.

That’s it. That’s the threshold between lazy and resting with intention.

Then, you slip into the ugliest, most comfortable tracksuit you own, grab a pair of cozy socks (bonus points for those sock-slipper hybrid things), and proceed to spend the day in a state of pure bliss. The options are endless:

Binge-Watching Extravaganza
Nothing beats a movie marathon. I grab a blanket, a bucket of biscuits, a bucket of ice cream, and (if I’m feeling extra indulgent) a bucket of chicken. I let my husband know the next 13 hours are fully booked. Whether it’s a series or a five-movie streak (my personal record), this is peak relaxation.

The Lost Art of Reading
There’s no better way to escape reality than diving into a book. And I don’t mean something pretentious- trash or treasure, as long as it’s engaging, it counts. If it’s more than 250 pages, you’ve made a commitment, and I respect that.

The Bathroom Spa Experience
Showers are great. But a long, luxurious bath? That’s living. I like to think my bath routine would give Cleopatra FOMO. I trap the steam, throw in bubble bath and oils (in the correct order, mind you- oil first kills the bubbles), light some candles, and just exist in the water for an hour or more. Maybe a scrub, maybe a mask, maybe nothing. Absolute heaven.

Board Games & Puzzles (If You Can Convince People to Join)
I personally love Monopoly and Cluedo. My husband, however, finds board games boring. But I firmly believe that gathering people for a game night is an underrated social event. (Just avoid Snakes & Ladders- what are we, five?)

The Joy of Writing
It amazes me how many people don’t write. Maybe because they associate it with school essays? But there’s something cathartic about putting pen to paper. I recently started journaling again- not for work, not for my blog, just for me. It’s fascinating to look back at old entries and realize how much my opinions have changed.

Which reminds me- 30 years ago, I started writing a novel. It made it to 110 pages before I got stuck, unsure of how to finish it. For years, I dragged this half-written masterpiece across cities, occasionally jotting down notes but never making progress.

Then, recently, I dusted it off, read through it, and- surprise!- it’s actually hilarious. So now, I’m revamping it, modernizing it, and finally finishing it. It’s wild how much the world has changed in 30 years- without even altering the story, the mere updates in technology and society make it feel fresh.

(No spoilers, of course. Just building intrigue.)

The Moral of the Story?
If it doesn’t fit in the dishwasher, let it go. If it clutters your life instead of adding joy, let it go. And if you haven’t taken the time to schlumpf properly in a while- now’s your chance.

Because sometimes, the best thing you can do is absolutely nothing.