Introducing a new concept like reflection, in the context of our daily relationships, takes an academic spiritual concept into practice. Relationships will go to the next level when a man or woman can put himself or herself into the other’s position in a time when it is hard to do so. This certainly requires a well-developed skill of empathy similar to the new buzz in leadership today.
Reflection is the ability to look at one’s partner, and see your own reflection, when you are conscious of your partner. In this way you will change your mind about what you blame them for, and start to take your power back, in the relationship you are in. Your glimpses of happiness will increase as your perspective changes about how you view your partner, and what makes you happy, will become something that you have complete control over. The old accepted view of being in a relationship, so that our partners can do this for us, about what we cannot is over. In the future we will choose partners for different reasons and how we appreciate what they do for us will also change. The moment you do not expect someone to do something for you because you are capable of doing it for yourself, you increase your self-esteem and the power they have over your happiness.
But there is another special reason we want to be in a conscious relationship: the true purpose of a relationship is to get to know ourselves and love our faults. We either hide our faults from ourselves, because they are unacceptable and too hard to admit to our self, or our loved ones, and we consciously hide them. This might sound strange but according to Adele we spend our lives beating ourselves up about what we reject (about ourselves) and it is part of the purpose of a relationship to reflect this back to us to make our peace with it. A partner is the one person we are exposed to more than anyone else. Over time they see us for who we are. To be vulnerable with a life partner is a probably a (sub)conscious choice. In the process our vulnerability can be beautiful when it is powerful and we use it to grow. This world that teaches us to be strong at all cost since childhood loses a sacred part of an individual’s identity and innocence. By being willing to be vulnerable we can claim our innocence back and love the ‘child’ inside. It is easier when our partners can help us to support this process as we transform and there are several ways of how to do this through the process of validation and empathizing.
Beyond everything we think about the relationships that we are in, and will always be “in”, is attracted to our lost parts in the opposite sex (or rather masculine or feminine energy), because they have the key to integrate what we previously rejected. The attributes we fall in love with at first with the unconscious intention of reuniting with that missing part of our soul, is later rejected for the same reason we were rejected it as children.
Out with the old and in with the new: If we have to throw out what our parents taught us about relationships it is time to remap roles in our relationships based on –
· the needs of who we really are as individuals (rather than gender roles)
· and state clear boundaries (that define us).
How we dissolve conflict, and what we consider conflict, as opposed to rejected parts of our self becomes a whole new science. This should challenge the fact that most relationship books read and sold are limited to acquiring a mate or dealing with problems once they occur. To change your entire view about the purpose of a relationship is like rewriting your childhood, for what is a partner if not the adult-guardian with whom to unpack your baggage.
It was a brave step for a novice writer to self-publish her advice for men to support an “illogical woman’. What started out as a journal entry of ‘a letter to her ex-husband’ became a 76,000 word project (book) with what she had to much to say about relationships.
According to Adele Greene, this book is intended for men to learn about women, and what a conscious relationship could be, and how a woman, when confronted with change in her life can be supported. Her book will challenge the average reader about what is available out there today.
Can You See Me Naked: Grow in a conscious relationship by Adele Green has also been compared to Gary Zukav and David Deida’s work with its reference to honest expression and the masculine and feminine energy referred to within it.
When interviewing Adele we asked her what she based her information on. She said that life’s experience of seeing her reflection with three life partners made her realise that the same things she blamed them for could not be the partner’s fault each time because she was the common denominator. She also said that working with women in her coaching practice opening up to her made her realise just how much withdraw when they cannot understand the internal transformation and express their needs, just like she did. Adele is well read with qualifications in business and personal development, and considers herself as an empath with a spiritual outlook. All the content of the book came from her heart based on how she felt and was written down in one week. Her wisdom came from serious introspection at far off places like Hawaii and Peru, as well as pushed her limits by swimming alone in the ocean for hours, skydiving and walking on fire, that this personal development transformed enough to share her own lessons from relationships.
Her husband agrees that Adele has a profound understanding of life.
Many people want to write a book. When I asked Adele why she chose to publish such revealing information about herself she replied that it is her hope that the emerging collective masculine will respond. She realised that there are no books out there about women written by women. When she was looking for this kind of book she could not find it. She hoped that reading this will validate women’s experience- and give men insight into the illogical behaviour of women from their perspective. She also said that revealing her innermost thoughts gives men the information to empathise with the female perspective. Women tend to create dance, music and art to express rather than use analytical words.
The book is available in softcover and Kindle anywhere in the world. Adele also has a private coaching practice in Johannesburg, South Africa, who shares her awareness socially. You can follow her blogs at www.nakedwithadele.com She is currently writing the workbook to accompany her unassuming book speaking out for the feminine voice in ‘Can You See Me Naked’.
Regardless of your #current relationship status, we seriously recommend that you read Adele Green’s Can You See Me Naked?